so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I think my moral compass just broke
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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