I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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