I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All I want is dick and wine.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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