I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
