..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
