He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
