At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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