Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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