their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
