Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
