Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Sober January is a disaster.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
