Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
