im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
