You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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