Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
