Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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