my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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