Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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