hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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