I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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