I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
