He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This baby is an asshole
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
