They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
