I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The Olympian is in my bed
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
