just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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