I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You were trust falling into bushes
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
