How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
