I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
