New invention idea: vibrating tampons
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
