There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
