3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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