I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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