do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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