Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize