Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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