i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
