my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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