1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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