I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
