pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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