Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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