franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
