Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why do cheetos always look like penises
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she told me i tasted like america
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize