Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
