i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
