last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
