i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
two words: eviction party
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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