I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
