i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
