it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
