i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Life is so much better after having sex.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
