the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
