she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
