your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
