i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My vagina just clenched in fear
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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