You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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