The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How's work?
Spinning.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just pee around me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize