1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
