he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
