uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
