I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So much rum. So many feels.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
