I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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