My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
