Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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