Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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