My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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