You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
