I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
