i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize