Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
