and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
